I wanted to be an Olympic Gymnast .
As we grow our dreams change and grow with us.
When I was 10......
I wanted to be a veterinarian.
I loved animals and thought that was what I would do for the rest of my life. As I learned more about the job, I learned I would be making animals feel better when they were sick or injured, but I would also have to put them to sleep. That was not what I wanted to do to the sweet lovely animals.
So my dreams changed yet again.
When I was 12 I dislocated my right knee in soccer practice. This resulted in a couple months of physical therapy. I began learning exercises to strengthen my muscles and ligaments around the knee cap.I didn't like doing them because they hurt. My therapist wouldn't let me back down. She made me work hard and in the end I was able to play soccer again in no time.
My freshman year of High School, I did it again. This time in cheerleading practice. unlike the first time, I wasn't going to get better by just doing exercises. This time I needed surgery to reattach the ligaments. I had ripped my Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL). After surgery I needed PT again. This time Suzzie ( The same therapist from last time) wasn't going to let me back down. She made me work hard. very hard. Some times I left in tears because it hurt so much. But, the day I was able to take off the brace and walk again all on my own, was the moment I knew all the blood, sweat and tears was so worth it.
And in that moment I knew....
I wanted to be a Physical Therapist when I grew up.
I asked Suzzie what I needed to do, what I needed to study to be like her. She gave me some tips and advice. I set my goals and had a deadline. I was going to do this. I scheduled my classes toward the sciences. I loved Anatomy and Physiology !
But alas it was not meant to be. I couldn't afford college.
After high school I moved in with my cousin and got a job at a grocery store. I was a checker in 3 months after starting out as a courtesy clerk ( a bag girl, for the older crowd) I took classes at the community collage and started to dream again......
Only I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I got married and had my first child at age 20. I went to dental assisting school and was working full time. 3 years later I found myself laid off from my dental job and expecting another baby. We took this time to let me become a stay at home mom. My dream became....
I want to be a mom when I grow up
I loved it. I was able to have a very relaxing pregnancy. I was able to reconnect with my son in a way I had not while I was working and going to school. The first few months were hard, as I've mentioned in posts before. This was the acclimation period for my son and I. We needed the time to get to know each other again, to learn each others routines and moods.
When my daughter was born all I wanted to do was be mommy to both my kids. My days were long, and thankless, but when my kids smiled or said mommy I knew it was all worth it.
Now my kids are growing...
This last summer I returned back to work. The same work I was doing at 18. I'm a grocery checker again.
This time I'm 30 and looking for more in a job than just money. I'm looking for growth and improvement.
I need development in a job, not just the same thing every single day. I'm not going to find that in my current job. but, yet again....
I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up
I have a very outgoing personality.I can talk to just about anyone, about anything. I love my job right now because I get to talk to hundreds of people each day, and no two customer interactions are the same. I'm creative and love home design. I worked in a floral shop in high school and love plants. I have so many sides to me that it makes it so hard for me to pick just one.
How do I decide ?
When do I decide ? When I'm applying for social security ?
When it's too late ? Never ?
I wish there was a way to mash all my interests together into my current job and still make it appealing.
How do people decide this all important question ?
How can people grow and know for certain that they want to be one thing and then become it ?
Am I broken ? is that why I can't decide ?
I love helping people and have been told many times that I would make a good nurse. I've always feared that feild because I am not good at doing math in my head. A skill nurses require when administering medications. I learned quickly the dental field was not for me either. I feel very passionately about Autism advocacy and helpng newly diagnosed families navigate this road. But what do I do with this passion ?
Why can't there be someone who tells us our purpose in life ? Someone who tells us the future ? That's what I need, a future teller.
I'm sure When I'm 40, 50 and 60 I'll be asking this question again. but as of right now.....
I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up
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