My friend, the angel.

      In High school I had this friend unlike any other friend. Her name was Katie. She was loud, and goofy and could make anyone smile just by being near. She was a Cheerleader, so of course she was full of energy. But, she was also so full of life. It seemed like nothing ever bothered her. For her, life was always great. She would make up silly words and phrases, just because. She was a friend to EVERYONE, and I do mean everyone. She was just this big ball of happiness and sunshine. 

 I have so many memories of  time spent with her. Like the time when we were at her house making posters for homecoming and one of her kittens ran away. She lived in the country like me, so that cat could have run off to anywhere. She was not going to give up though. We looked for that thing for hours. We got chased by the neighbors dog and walked miles calling for that silly cat. We never did find him.

We took tumbling classes together for cheer leading and we usually drove to class together. Being older, I was the one with the car and She was the only one on the squad who liked the same music as me. It just made sense for us to ride together. We would drive the couple of miles to the gym together singing every song that came on the radio at the top of our lungs. We teased each other when we got the words wrong. One song in particular will always stick with me. There is a line in one Nickelback song that says "Living with me must have damn near killed you." She liked to sing it " Little woman must have damn near killed you" I would laugh so hard every time she sang it that way. I still smile and laugh every time I hear that part of the song come on. 

In 2004, almost  two years after I graduated, I was living in a town, away from were we grew up. I hadn't spoken to Katie in a while and honestly hadn't thought much about her. But, then I got a call that changed everything. Katie had died. The night of March 7, 2004, Katie had gone for  a ride on the back of a friends motorcycle. I'm not sure on exact details. All I know for certain is that there was a crash and Katie died. This silly, sunny person was gone. 

She was taken way too young; Just 18. She had her whole life ahead of her.She was supposed to graduate in less than 3 months. She was going to go to college. She loved fashion designing and had been drawing clothes for what seemed like ever. Her older sister had been one of my Cheer coaches and I dearly loved them both. Katie, since she was younger was my cheer sister. She was the little sister I looked out for and taught all I knew about cheerleading. She was a wonderful friend. 

I'm sure If she was still alive she would be in New York or LA designing clothes and becoming famous. I'd like to think we would have kept in touch through Facebook, as I do with her sister, but probably not. We would have drifted away and lived the lives we were meant to live. But, Katie's life was cut short. Her spirit touched so many people in the short 18 years she was alive. Today marks 10 years since she left us. I like to think she is looking down and smiling at all of us, proud of what our lives have become. I like to imagine she is goofing off and making funny jokes still. Being the clown she always was. 

Today when I went to the cemetery to bring her flowers, as I do every year. I was standing in front of her headstone, looking at her picture, seeing her bright smile and long brown hair.  I felt warm and looked up to see the sun shining through the trees. Spears of sunshine poked through the trees like fingers. Fingers reaching out to touch a loved one. It was like she was right there with me. showing me just how much she is still present. For me, and I know many others, she will never be gone.

If you knew Katie and have a memory of her, or something you would like to share about her please feel free to leave comments below. Lets keep her memory alive for all to enjoy.

A little about my weight gain and the start of my weight loss journey.

When I was in high school I was a cheerleader. I was fit, healthy and active. I worked out 5 days a week. On the weekends I worked a job that kept me on my feet for 8 hours a day. I wasn't intentionally working out, but I was. I was a very healthy 135 pounds. 

Then I graduated and moved out of my parents house. I started to have to fend for myself, buying my own food was so much more expensive then I thought. I started to do what I think all young adults on their own do, I bought crappier food because it was cheaper. I ate out more and was no longer working out. I started gaining weight and fast. changing my birth control didn't help much either, I gained 30 pounds in 3 months because of my birth control.

Then I found myself married, with a baby on the way. Pregnancy made me eat all the time. The first trimester all I did was puke. Once the morning sickness ended I ate all the time. My third trimester I was placed on bed rest. I was home alone all day long with nothing to do but eat and watch TV. I was on strict orders from the doctor to not do anything more strenuous than take a shower and go pee. 

After my son was born I was about 200 pounds. My life was changing, but my weight was not. I simply did not focus on myself and the weight loss. My husband never said a word about the weight. He's not the type to anyway. He loves me unconditionally. So weight loss was not a main focus for me; but it should have been.  Before I knew it, I was pregnant again. Weight gain was a concern for me, but my doctor was not concerned by it; so I didn't pay much attention to it either. After my daughter was born I was about 235 pounds. 100 pounds heavier than I was 6 years earlier. 

It was time to do something about it. But, I simply didn't know what to do. Like most people I would try whatever fad diet was out there. I spent money on diet pills and hoped they would all work. None did. Soon I found myself discouraged and really overweight. I needed to do something about it. 

A friend sent me an invite to join a weight loss group she went to. I jumped at the chance to do something different than I had before. I started going to these group meetings. I learned a lot about nutrition and exercise from this group. During the 9 months I attended these meetings I lost 35 pounds and many inches. 

Then things changed. I started to feel bad and my energy level dropped drastically. I had a lot of other problems too. I got sent to an endocrinologist and was diagnosed with hashimotos disease. A hypothyroid condition. My doctor told me I couldn't lose the weight on my own because my thyroid was not functioning. My 4 days a week 2 hour gym sessions were all for nothing. Which is why I had stopped. After 9 months of giving 100% and seeing little progress I got discouraged. 

My doctor upped my thyroid meds and gave me a new medicine to help with the weight loss. I started it at the end of October and now it's March. I've lost 25 pounds and it's still coming off. I haven't been working out like I used to, but I want to. I'm working more and not finding a lot of time to exercise. The weather is getting better and I'm going to start getting out and walking more. I'm on a good path now. I've gone gluten free. I'm eating better. I'm feeling better and that's what is important. I have a long road ahead of me, but I have goals and a plan. I have my doctors help and I finally feel like I will succeed.

30 completly useless facts....about animals

Here is a list of completely useless facts about animals, why? you ask. Why not ?

1. Giraffes and rats can live longer without water than camels 
2. More people are killed each year by bees than by snakes 
3. Dogs have four toes on their hind feet, and five on their front feet.
4. A cockroach will live nine days without it’s head, before it starves to death.
5. Butterflies taste with their feet.
   
6. Starfish don’t have brains.
7. Polar bears are left handed.
8. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
9. An ostrich’s eye is bigger that it’s brain.
10. Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating
11. Porcupines float in water.
    
12. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
13. A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
14. Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
15. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
    
16. More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in airplane crashes.
17. Certain frogs can be frozen solid, then thawed, and survive.
18. Cat’s urine glows under a black light.
19. A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
20. To escape the grip of a crocodile’s jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs – it will let you go instantly.
21. A crocodile can’t stick it’s tongue out.
    
22. A shrimp’s heart is in it’s head.
23. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
24. Rats and horses can’t vomit.
25. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
26. Ostriches are often not taken seriously. They can run faster than horses, and the males can roar like lions.
27. Seals used for their fur get extremely sick when taken aboard ships.
28. Sloths take two weeks to digest their food.
    
29. Guinea pigs and rabbits can’t sweat.
30. The porpoise is second to man as the most intelligent animal on the planet.

Did you enjoy this list ? Do you have a useless fact about animals? Post comments below. Share this list with your friends, you'll be smarter than them if you do. 

The loss of a husband, brother, son and friend

Today I learned of the passing of a high school classmate. His wife and a few other family members all attended the same high school as me. I didn't know him very well, but I had a couple classes with him over the years. From What I did know of him he was the kind of guy who's light shined so bright it was like his own personal sun. He was the life of the party, the one everyone wanted to know. He was nice to everyone and incredibly funny. Him and his wife were high school sweethearts. They spent the last 15 years loving each other. Through that love they had 2 beautiful daughters. His light and love will truly be missed by all who knew him. 

Sitting here thinking about him and the lose his family is going through makes me think back to two years ago when one of my best friends lost her husband. The pain she went through and the questions she never got answers to. The pain of the loss was the same, but the circumstances different; One was a medical condition the other was not. Over the time I helped my friend grieve and plan her husbands funeral, I thought a lot about the life of my own husband. When you marry someone you promise to love them for the rest of their life, But what none of us knows is how long that life will be. No one ever expects to bury a husband young, Yet two young wife's have had to do so now. These men were hard workers and loved their families. It's not right that four young children will not get to have their daddies watch them grow. Three  daughters won't get to dance with their dads at their weddings. With a heavy heart and many prayers for this family and my other friends family too, I can't help but hold onto my husband a little tighter and cherish every moment I have with him, however many more that shall be. 

May the loved ones of both men find peace and cherish the thought that their loved one is now in the arms of angels.

My favorite recipe

 Recently I came across a recipe on Pinterest. (This is my all-time favorite place to find recipes) Like many of my friends, I have pinned hundreds of recipes. I have also made a bunch of them. The one I liked the most is for a garlic basil cream sauce. It can be served over pasta or as the recipe calls for, over breaded chicken. I'm not sure who the original author of this recipe is, and I am not taking credit for it. It's just too good and too easy for me to have invented. Check it out and give it a try for yourself. You will not regret it.

              

 Basil Cream Sauce 

1/4 cup milk 

1/2 cup bread crumbs 

2 tsp bell pepper seasoning

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast; 4 halves

3 tbs butter 

3 cloves garlic- chopped

1/2 cup chicken broth 

1/2 can italian style diced tomatoes- drained and finely chopped 

1 cup heavy whipping cream 

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese  

2 tbs basil 

~ Melt Butter in a frying pan on medium heat

~In seperate bowls place milk and breadcrumbs

~ Bread the chicken by first dipping it in milk to coat and then immediately in bowl of bread crumbs. use a spoon to help you coat it completely

~ Brown chicken in pan with butter

~Take chicken out and set aside

~Add  garlic to pan. cook 1 minute 

~Add broth, bring to a boil 

~Stir occasionally to loosen brown parts on bottom of pan

~Stir in cream and tomatoes, bring to a boil, and stir for 1 minute. 

~ Reduce heat to low

~Add cheese, basil and a dash of pepper, stir and cook through, let sit to thicken. 

I served this the other night over pan-cooked chicken, and a bed of gluten free spaghetti noodles. It was fantastic. In the past I have done the breaded chicken and it too was fantastic. 

 Do you have a recipe you love ? leave it in the comments below.  

 

My Amazing Husband

Brag alert !!! This is going to be a post about how wonderful my husband is. Continue reading at your own risk. I will not be held accountable for any vomiting you may have from reading the mushiness to follow.


This June will be our 10 year wedding anniversary. O.M.G I can't believe we have made it 10 years. When we got married people assumed it was because I was pregnant and we thought that was what was expected. In reality, Yes, That was what was expected. But no, It's not the reason why we did it. We got married because we both loved each other and really couldn't see ourselves with out the other. We had talked about getting married less than a month into dating. We had been friends for over a year and a half before we ever moved into a dating relationship. I think this fact played a huge role in our relationship progressing the way that it did. 
Fast forward 3 years and we were in the middle of something that many couples don't survive. Our son's ASD diagnoses. The rumored divorce rate in families with autistic children is like 70%. OUCH !!
But somehow we found the strength to keep it all together. We have had a few rough spots along the way, but nothing too major. We take time for each other. We talk to each other,  and we are very physical with each other. I'm not just talking sex people, get your heads out of the gutter. We hold hands, we hug, we kiss often and just touch one another. Physical contact in any form is very reassuring. Someone who doesn't love you will not make the effort to touch you. 

My husband is very silly. He might be 9 years older than me, but he sure don't act like it. He's goofy, he tells jokes and is generally just silly. We play around together and with the kids. We have tickle fights and those usually turn into an impromptu wrestling match. (usually because I'm trying to get away before he makes me pee my pants, and he's holding me down so I won't get away) We laugh at each other all the time. But we can also laugh with each other too.

He helps me around the house - He cooks, he cleans and he gives me so much help with the kids. He allows me to have time to myself. This is a huge factor in why our marriage has worked. 

We support each other. He works full-time and has been going to school to finish his biology degree. I became a stay-at-home-mom to help him finish. While, his working and going to school while I was home worked for us for those 5 years, it doesn't anymore.

He supports me.- I'm back in the workforce. I see the time I'm at work the way I used to see my time out with my friends. It's my mommy's having a time-out time. I get to take off the MOM hat and put on the AMANDA hat. and I love that. I miss my kids when I'm gone, but that's all forgotten when I get home and discover the giant messes they have made for me while I was gone. Only partially kidding here, but seriously, He does WAY more than a lot of guys I know. 
some of my friends are having some serious marital issues right now and hearing about them all, makes me more appreciative of my husband and all he does for me. 
He makes my life easier. He doesn't have to, but he does.  He is there for me in all the ways I need, and even in the ones I'm not aware I need.

What I want to be when I grow up

When we are kids we dream about the things we will do when we grow up. We dream of becoming wonderful, splashy things like a ballet dancer, or a rock star.  When I was five...
                                           I wanted to be an Olympic Gymnast .

As we grow our dreams change and grow with us.
 When I was 10......
                                         I wanted to be a veterinarian. 

I loved animals and thought that was what I would do for the rest of my life. As I  learned more about the job, I learned I would be making animals feel better when they were sick or injured, but I would also have to put them to sleep. That was not what I wanted to do to the sweet lovely animals.

So my dreams changed yet again.

When I was 12 I dislocated my right knee in soccer practice. This resulted in a couple months of physical therapy. I began learning exercises to strengthen my muscles and ligaments around the knee cap.I didn't like doing them because they hurt. My therapist wouldn't let me back down. She made me work hard and in the end I was able to play soccer again in no time.
My freshman year of High School, I did it again. This time in cheerleading practice. unlike the first time, I wasn't going to get better by just doing exercises. This time I needed surgery to reattach the ligaments. I had ripped my Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL). After surgery I needed PT again. This time Suzzie ( The same therapist from last time) wasn't going to let me back down. She made me work hard. very hard. Some times I left in tears because it hurt so much. But, the day I was able to take off the brace and walk again all on my own, was the moment I knew all the blood, sweat and tears was so worth it.

And  in that moment I knew....
                                            I wanted to be a Physical Therapist when I grew up. 

 
I asked Suzzie what I needed to do, what I needed to study to be like her. She gave me some tips and advice. I set my goals and had a deadline. I was going to do this. I scheduled my classes toward the sciences.  I loved Anatomy and Physiology !
But alas it was not meant to be. I couldn't afford college.

After high school I moved in with my cousin and got a job at a grocery store. I was a checker in 3 months after starting out as a courtesy clerk ( a bag girl, for the older crowd) I took classes at the community collage and started to dream again......

                                           Only I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I got married and had my first child at age 20. I went to dental assisting school and was working full time. 3 years later I found myself laid off from my dental job and expecting another baby. We took this time to let me become a stay at home mom. My dream became....

                                             I want to be a mom when I grow up

I loved it. I was able to have a very relaxing pregnancy. I was able to reconnect with my son in a way I had not while I was working and going to school. The first few months were hard, as I've mentioned in posts before. This was the acclimation period for my son and I. We needed the time to get to know each other again, to learn each others routines and moods.
When my daughter was born all I wanted to do was be mommy to both my kids. My days were long, and thankless, but when my kids smiled or said mommy I knew it was all worth it. 
Now my kids are growing...
This last summer I returned back to work. The same work I was doing at 18. I'm a grocery checker again.
This time I'm 30 and looking for more in a job than just money. I'm looking for growth and improvement.
I need development in a job, not just the same thing every single day. I'm not going to find that in my current job. but, yet again....
                                             I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up

I have a very outgoing personality.I can talk to just about anyone, about anything. I love my job right now because I get to talk to hundreds of people each day, and no two customer interactions are the same. I'm creative and love home design. I worked in a floral shop in high school and love plants. I have so many sides to me that it makes it so hard for me to pick just one.
How do I decide ?
When do I decide ? When I'm applying for social security ?
When it's too late ? Never ?
I wish there was a way to mash all my interests together into my current job and still make it appealing.

How do people decide this all important question ?
How can people grow and know for certain that they want to be one thing and then become it ?
Am I broken ? is that why I can't decide ?

I love helping people and have been told many times that I would make a good nurse. I've always feared that feild because I am not good at doing math in my head. A skill nurses require when administering medications. I learned quickly the dental field was not for me either. I feel very passionately about Autism advocacy and helpng newly diagnosed families navigate this road. But what do I do with this passion ?
Why can't there be someone who tells us our purpose in life ? Someone who tells us the future ? That's what I need, a future teller.
I'm sure When I'm 40, 50 and 60 I'll be asking this question again. but as of right now.....

I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up